God is good, all the time!

So, I am home from a weekend at Green Lake. I will never be able to put it into words because unless you've been there, you wouldn't understand.

The theme of the weekend was "As Is". God uses us as is. Love it. Our speaker was Peter Eide. If you don't know who he is, look him up. He's got a website and his music is phenominal. What a teacher and inspiration.

My goal was to "shut up and off" and listen. One of the songs we sang? "Be". As in, be still and know that I am God. Ok, ok, I get it. So, I did my best and I am quite proud of myself. God revealed himself to me in many, many ways this weekend and I am grateful for that.

One of the things we did was put our fears and hopes in our hands and lift them to God. Not easy for me. I say all the time that I know what my fears are but I realized that I really don't. Am I afraid of being alone for the rest of my life? YES! But, am I more ok with being single than I give myself credit for? I don't know. Am I afraid of losing weight for some reason? Probably, but why? I gave it all to God. Over and over and over and over....

God, I pray that you will continue to use me. I pray that I will remember that you delight in me and that I bring you joy and pleasure. Remind me to keep "pouring". And God, I really, really want to be married. I miss being kissed. I'd really love it if you could bring someone into my life soon. Thanks.

Green Lake had so many memories for me that I wasn't sure I'd ever stop crying or talking about all the things I remember. God has created the entire universe, I know. But, I think that Green Lake was probably one of his best works of art. It is holy ground. I am so grateful to my family to taking us there for 14 years and being able to chaperone youth trips twice. This weekend is now added to the millions of memories and I am sooooo grateful.

Home sweet home....

So, I am home after an uneventful family vacation to Hilton Head Island. Who knew it could be uneventful??? Not me. Last time, I was driven crazy by my sister in law, who I love dearly but sometimes she gets to me in our differences. And, my mom was there this year. And, there were no big blow ups and only one venting call to my BFF, Dort. Wow, it's a miracle.

It was great fun but now I want to go back as soon as possible without kids. I love my brother's kids, they are probably some of the best behaved children you could ever meet. But, it's funny how when there are 8 people, 3 of which are kids, you as the single voice, don't always get your way. Hmmmm, shocker. But, I got to take them on a dolphin tour with my favorite company and it was great. Maybe I'll get my way if we go back in September for a girls trip.

Best news of all, I didn't gain any weight. Yippee!!! And, when we got home, I joined Weight Watchers online. I've been doing pretty well with the tracking and staying within my points. Hopefully, it will work. Probably would help if I hadn't avoided the gym tonight. But, I will go tomorrow and Thursday for sure.

I did it

So, I made it to the gym yesterday. At about 2:00 I wasn't sure I was going to. Had a relatively big lunch with co-workers and my "naptime" hit. All I wanted to do was go home and take a nap. But, as Dorothy reminded me...if you go home and take a nap you will get fat! Yep, it's true. So, I made it to the gym. And, I did my 2 miles. AND, I actually ran for 4 minutes. It was one minute increments a couple of times throughout my time, but I did it. I've never been able to do that. Maybe I should clarify run. That would be a very slow jog. But, the heart rate was up and I was proud of myself when I finished. Hopefully while on vacation next week, I'll be motivated to walk on the beach. Great exercise!

Old friends

So, this weekend was a family filled weekend. My oldest niece got re-baptized. Praise God. She decided that when she made her first decision she was a child and wasn't sure what exactly it meant. After attending the youth event, Acquire the Fire, she asked Jesus into her heart. YAY!!!!! So, I spent a lot of quality time with the fam this weekend.

While at my folks house, I decided on a whim to look up an old co-worker's phone number. This dear friend lives about a mile from my parents. I never in a million years thought he'd be listed. He was one of those old timers at Maxey and I truly thought he'd have an unlisted phone number. Paranoia and all. To my surprise there was a number. I called it Sunday afternoon and left a message. Even more to my surprise....he called me back. We laughed and talked and reminisced about all the crazy things at Maxey. He was the resident practical joker. It was so good to have that personality back in my life. The bonus? He's doing my taxes. Yahoo. This dear man is about my mom's age and at one point, when I first met him, he was so mean he made me cry. Over time, and of course my winning personality, we became best buds. He was my go to guy at work. When I moved in with Jeff, our friendship took a turn. Not only did he not approve morally but he thought I was settling and Jeff was not good enough for me. Hindsight obviously proves him right. We were still friends but not nearly as close as we had been. Then he retired. I missed him terribly. We haven't talked in years. Now, it's all good.

On top of this re-connection, I had a mystery text this weekend. I thought my co-worker had changed her phone number so I stored it under her name. When I got to work on Monday and asked her about it, it wasn't her. I emailed the only other person I thought it could be (based on area code) and it wasn't him either. When I got out of work, I sent a text asking who it was. To make a long story, it was another friend who I hadn't talked to in about 5 or 6 months. I won't share all the gory details but we had a bit of a falling out. I hurt and upset him (which I didn't know until last night) and he had decided it was time to bury the hatchet and stop being upset. So, we talked for about 30 minutes last night. I cannot tell you how good it was to hear the voice of this man. He has had a huge influence in my life, probably not always good, and I have truly missed my friend. He said the same thing last night. So, maybe we can be friends again. I guess we'll see what the future holds. All I know is, I was really glad to have a chance to talk to him last night. The irony of all of this is that my co-worker had said maybe my mystery texter was someone I didn't know and this was all fate and I'd meet him and he'd be the one. I of course laughed out loud at this. But, when I found out who it really was, the irony of her comment was a little painful. See, I have always loved this man despite the fact that there are many, many things I could never tolerate in a relationship. I have always wanted him to "see me" and realize what we have in this friendship and that it could be more. Now, I know that's not God's plan but I truly love this guy. For now, I'm glad he's back and we can have our long conversations about life and figuring out who we are.

Thank you, God, for bringing some sunshine into my life through my dear friends who I have lost touch with. I know that You know how much they mean to me.

Woo hoo

So, I made it 2 nights at the gym this week. Yahoo! And, my co-worker LeAnn came with me to FitBall tonight. I LOVE that class. I'm starting to love it more than Zumba. It's definitely a killer work out. That would be evidenced by LeAnn leaning over to me and saying "this sucks" in the first 20 minutes. But, she, I mean we, made it and it was fun. She did like it but it is ackward at first. That's a given. You know what else I discovered? When you watch the news on the while on the treadmill, sometimes you work longer. They had those teasers of "coming up next" and there was a story I wanted to see. It took a lot longer than "next" so I was on the treadmill yesterday for an hour. Wow. That's big for me. The story? The song by John Rich called Detroit Shutdown (or something like that). I loved it. I think it's great that he did this. I think the irony is that the people I work with who love country music will never understand the gravity of the situation. Detroit is like a foreign country to them. It drives me crazy sometimes.

Today was a good day at work today. Had a mobilization so lots of time to do nothing while they were locked down this morning. Then I ran my group which was all new guys today. I love that part of it. Especially when some of them actually talk. Which, they did today. Of course, I hook them with Marvin Gaye right out of the gate. I'm so smart. They loved it. And I love my group.

Only 2 more weeks and I will be in a van on the way to the beach. Yippee kiayo. How do you spell that? Anyway, I didn't get my weight lost by then but I think I'm still in better shape than I was. And, no I can focus on losing it by Memorial Weekend for the singles conference at Green Lake.

The bag is packed

So, my bag is packed so I can go to the gym after work. I have already been thinking, "oh maybe I won't go tonight. Maybe I'll just give it a whole week off". What is this? Maybe it's my slight case of winter blahs a little late. Does that even make sense? No. Then I think how much harder FitBall will be tomorrow if I don't go tonight. I love that class. It's a great workout and I think it's really fun. And, I missed last week. So, does it make sense to only go to the gym once this week? NO!!! I will go tonight. I will walk on the treadmill and I will do 2 miles like last week. I can do this. If I keep it up, I'll be more motivated to take walks on the beach in Hilton Head in a few weeks, right? Well, maybe.

I'm just a lazy person and I really don't like that. It's kind of hard to admit but maybe that's the first step in changing it. Maybe!

Silly Lily the kitty

So, I have a cat named Lily. She is really the funniest, cutest thing most of the time. She is a Maine Coon cat. The second one I've ever owned and there are definitely things native to the breed. Like, acting like a dog. My first Maine Coon would come to greet me at the door when I came home. Wait, Lily does that too. When Lily hears the garage door, she rolls on her back and stretches out for me to rub her belly the minute I walk in the door. If I don't, she runs in front of me wherever I go and throws herself there waiting for a belly rub. My favorite? When she goes flying down the basement stairs and waits at the bottom all stretched out saying "look at how cute I am". Although, Caleb would play fetch with a rope. Hmmmm, Lily loves her green ribbon. She doesn't always bring it back to me. In fact, when she doesn't want to play together, she usually gets it in her teeth and trots off with it. Hilarious. I've actually seen her play with it by herself, throwing it in the air and pouncing it.

Her newest trick? Begging/scratching at the door to go out. What? I let her out a few Sundays ago when it was nice. I sat on the porch and she timidly smelled around the door jam and porch. Eventually, she went towards the garage. I put her back on the porch and she headed straight for the grass. Brave little soul. Anyway, usually when I clap my hands and scoot her toward the door with my foot, she goes right in. Not this day, she wanted to stay out. It took a lot of coaxing to get her back inside. And then what does she do? Scratch at the door and meow at it. She even did a somersault to get on her back to scratch upwards. She has been meowing to go out almost every day since. This morning I decided to let her out with me to check temperature. She bolted right out the door. She's never done that. She went right onto the back patio. When I tried to get her to come in, she wasn't having it. I finally picked her up and I swear, she was fighting to get back down. When I finally got her in, she immediately went to pawing the door. The most hilarious part was I have a Christmas bell still hanging from the doorknob. (I know, I know...don't say it) So, as she was pawing the door, she hit the bell. I am sure it was unintentional but at the time, it sure didn't seem like it. Hilarious. Tonight, she was on her back paws, stretched up and it looked like she was reaching for the door handle. I swear, she is too smart for her own good.

There was a very slight chance I was going to take in a dog for a friend. I was really worried what it would do to Lily. Don't get me wrong, I am a dog girl and I miss having one. Not even really a cat person but I keep inheriting them somehow. Anyway, I have to say that I am kind of relieved that Zoey will not be interupting the fun Lily has with me. Or, wait? Is it the other way around? Regardless, she really makes me laugh and I am grateful to have that around. That's my silly Lily!