Who knew it was possible?
I have pretty much given up on the weight watchers thing and I joined a weight loss challenge in May sometime. I have been doing fairly well and I really like the ladies, my coach and the premise. In fact, we're done on the 21st but I am going to join the next session which starts on the 28. I was going to head back to WW but this is cheaper and for now, it's working. Ultimately, I will go back to WW.
The big news is I am really loving being at the gym. The funny thing is I'm not doing FitBall or Zumba anymore. I am doing a Medicine Ball class and the trainer is kicking my booty!!! But, I love it. I wish it was more often. He really pushes me. And, I'm having a desire to run some when I am walking. Who knew that was even possible? I have lost 4 inches off my hips of which I am most proud. There are lots of inches other places but that is the one I notice the most. I can't wait to see where I'm at on the 21st. Yea, baby, I'm finally doing it and I'm loving the gym. Who knew!!!!
Tigers game July 2010
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I can't wait/I'm so nervous
Well, I was a little surprised that I had actually written about Green Lake already. That's good. It was actually nice to read it and remind myself of some of that feeling. Where does that go when we come back to the real world?
Ok, so some of you already know this because I asked you to pray about it. But, here we go. At Green Lake, the first day, I noticed and introduced myself to a guy named Brad. We hit it off immediately and I really enjoyed hanging around and flirting with him. Somewhere along the line, very quickly I think, another guy, Dave, was hanging with us and I was having the time of my life. Dave is kind of a quiet guy and I remember at one meal telling him that he looked just like Dorothy's husband. I laughed when he took his glasses off and said "here, does this help?". It didn't. He really reminds me of Dort's hubby Brad. Anyway, I kept paying attention to Brad and always wondering where he was. Saturday night was especially moving in Peder's session and I wasn't really feeling like going to the Bunco party but I didn't know what else we might do. Brad or Dave said they were going for a walk and asked me if I wanted to go to. So, about 7 or 8 of us went down to the Point, my favorite place. When we got out there, there were 2 ducks and we scared them away. I was enjoying just looking out at the lake and the cross on the tower, lit up in the dark. The ducks had wandered around to the other side of the point and I went over to find them. Dave followed me. We ended up talking a lot and he said he played guitar and sang and use to be in a rock band. Wow, that's kinda cool. Did I tell you at some point, I climbed the tree? The tree that hangs out over the water, in the very dark night!!!??? Anyway, getting out on the tree was easy. Then I realized I wasn't sure how I was going to get back out of the tree. I can admit, in hindsight, I was doing it for attention. I was trying to get Brad's attention but he was talking to someone else. Who offered me their hand to help me out of the tree? Dave. How sweet. Anyway, we continued to talk and hang out and then we went and raided the snacks from the Bunco party. Fun.
Sunday morning, there were 3 older ladies I had hung out with and Mary came up to me with something urgent to share. The conversation went something like this. "We think you should like Dave". "Really? Brad's pretty cute." "Yea, Brad's 30." "He is? How old is Dave?" "36". "Hmmmm, really?" and off we went. I honestly don't remember any conversation after that. What I do remember is that Brad and I were suppose to ride bikes and it didn't work out, which led me and Brad AND Dave (and Russ) to drive to the country store and that was a blast. On the boat ride, which by the way, I tried but couldn't convince Dave to join us on, I sat with some of the ladies and had a blast. Didn't really talk to Brad on the boat. When we went to the bonfire, I sat next to Dave. In fact, I think I walked out there with Dave and Brad. Anyway, the bonfire started out in a very disappointing way and eventually, Dave left. Sweet thing? He apologized to me for leaving. So, now it's Monday morning and it's time to leave. I didn't want to attend the last session but it ended up being unavoidable (over breakfast) and afterward, we all started to say good bye. I had someone take a picture of Brad and Dave and I before we took off.
Fast forward through the rest....get home and Dave emailed me on Tuesday to make sure I had been safe on the drive home and to tell me how it was nice to meet me. I emailed him back and since then, we've emailed everyday, usually several times a day. Brad? Yea, fell of the face of the earth for awhile. Eventually Dave and I started talking on the phone. For HOURS at a time. Love it. Best part? He makes me laugh. Most of you know how important that is to me and why. So, somewhere along the line, we started talking about meeting in Chicago. Not really specifically and then all of a sudden, he asked me when I was thinking about. Huh, hadn't really thought about that. So, then he invited me to Life Fest, a huge Christian event in Oshkosh, WI where he lives. Told him I couldn't go. Bummer. Then, I really started regretting saying no. So, I did some more figuring (days off, money, what not) and realized I could go. So, I said yes. And, I'm driving to Wisconsin on Friday to see Dave and go to Life Fest. We're gonna see Peder again which I can't wait for and Third Day. Yay! But, what does all of this mean? Are we just really good friends? Does he like me? Do I like him? Where is this headed? I don't know any of those answers yet. Part of the reason this weekend is so important. And, if I'm truly honest, I do think I know some of those answers. But, I'm leaving it up to God. Where else should it be, right? So, if you're a praying person, please lift it up this weekend. I know we are going to have a ball but I'm so excited and now I'm starting to get a little nervous. I really enjoy the conversation of this man and I can't wait to spend some time with him.
It has been very interesting to look back at Green Lake and see things from the perspective of Dave being there all along. I was just not looking in the right place. At least, in the beginning. Now I think I am.
Ok, so some of you already know this because I asked you to pray about it. But, here we go. At Green Lake, the first day, I noticed and introduced myself to a guy named Brad. We hit it off immediately and I really enjoyed hanging around and flirting with him. Somewhere along the line, very quickly I think, another guy, Dave, was hanging with us and I was having the time of my life. Dave is kind of a quiet guy and I remember at one meal telling him that he looked just like Dorothy's husband. I laughed when he took his glasses off and said "here, does this help?". It didn't. He really reminds me of Dort's hubby Brad. Anyway, I kept paying attention to Brad and always wondering where he was. Saturday night was especially moving in Peder's session and I wasn't really feeling like going to the Bunco party but I didn't know what else we might do. Brad or Dave said they were going for a walk and asked me if I wanted to go to. So, about 7 or 8 of us went down to the Point, my favorite place. When we got out there, there were 2 ducks and we scared them away. I was enjoying just looking out at the lake and the cross on the tower, lit up in the dark. The ducks had wandered around to the other side of the point and I went over to find them. Dave followed me. We ended up talking a lot and he said he played guitar and sang and use to be in a rock band. Wow, that's kinda cool. Did I tell you at some point, I climbed the tree? The tree that hangs out over the water, in the very dark night!!!??? Anyway, getting out on the tree was easy. Then I realized I wasn't sure how I was going to get back out of the tree. I can admit, in hindsight, I was doing it for attention. I was trying to get Brad's attention but he was talking to someone else. Who offered me their hand to help me out of the tree? Dave. How sweet. Anyway, we continued to talk and hang out and then we went and raided the snacks from the Bunco party. Fun.
Sunday morning, there were 3 older ladies I had hung out with and Mary came up to me with something urgent to share. The conversation went something like this. "We think you should like Dave". "Really? Brad's pretty cute." "Yea, Brad's 30." "He is? How old is Dave?" "36". "Hmmmm, really?" and off we went. I honestly don't remember any conversation after that. What I do remember is that Brad and I were suppose to ride bikes and it didn't work out, which led me and Brad AND Dave (and Russ) to drive to the country store and that was a blast. On the boat ride, which by the way, I tried but couldn't convince Dave to join us on, I sat with some of the ladies and had a blast. Didn't really talk to Brad on the boat. When we went to the bonfire, I sat next to Dave. In fact, I think I walked out there with Dave and Brad. Anyway, the bonfire started out in a very disappointing way and eventually, Dave left. Sweet thing? He apologized to me for leaving. So, now it's Monday morning and it's time to leave. I didn't want to attend the last session but it ended up being unavoidable (over breakfast) and afterward, we all started to say good bye. I had someone take a picture of Brad and Dave and I before we took off.
Fast forward through the rest....get home and Dave emailed me on Tuesday to make sure I had been safe on the drive home and to tell me how it was nice to meet me. I emailed him back and since then, we've emailed everyday, usually several times a day. Brad? Yea, fell of the face of the earth for awhile. Eventually Dave and I started talking on the phone. For HOURS at a time. Love it. Best part? He makes me laugh. Most of you know how important that is to me and why. So, somewhere along the line, we started talking about meeting in Chicago. Not really specifically and then all of a sudden, he asked me when I was thinking about. Huh, hadn't really thought about that. So, then he invited me to Life Fest, a huge Christian event in Oshkosh, WI where he lives. Told him I couldn't go. Bummer. Then, I really started regretting saying no. So, I did some more figuring (days off, money, what not) and realized I could go. So, I said yes. And, I'm driving to Wisconsin on Friday to see Dave and go to Life Fest. We're gonna see Peder again which I can't wait for and Third Day. Yay! But, what does all of this mean? Are we just really good friends? Does he like me? Do I like him? Where is this headed? I don't know any of those answers yet. Part of the reason this weekend is so important. And, if I'm truly honest, I do think I know some of those answers. But, I'm leaving it up to God. Where else should it be, right? So, if you're a praying person, please lift it up this weekend. I know we are going to have a ball but I'm so excited and now I'm starting to get a little nervous. I really enjoy the conversation of this man and I can't wait to spend some time with him.
It has been very interesting to look back at Green Lake and see things from the perspective of Dave being there all along. I was just not looking in the right place. At least, in the beginning. Now I think I am.
Wonders never cease
So, my BFF was telling me tonight that it's been way too long since I've posted and would I blog already!!!???? I was shocked that it's only been a little over a month. Who knew? Anyway, a lot has happened and I will attempt to do it in different posts by subject.
Tonights subject would be my family. Or specifically, my parents. Before I say anything, I must say that my family is almost perfect and I love them with all my heart. I do know that it's practically eutopia and when I get to venting to some of my friends, I do realize that it's ridiculous. But, it's my feelings and they are real. So, short story, since at the moment, I'm in a good mood and not currently raving at them....
Father's Day: Many plan changes, I made it to parents house at the time I was told only to have them all show up an hour and half later. With my the mother of my sister in law. She is not the easiest person to be around and she definitely puts a damper on things. Suffice to say, after 50 minutes of barely seeing my dad, I was on my way home. Prayed and prayed for God to take away the hurt and anger but I was fuming. Talked to mom later that night and after a very gut wrenching conversation, hung up the phone and BAWLED for 20 minutes. Have not cried that long in I can't remember how long. Ultimately it felt good but it sucked. Bottom line, I don't have kids, my brother does, my parents are FANTASTIC grandparents and I feel like I get shafted.
Tonight, I tried to make plans with my mom. I feel like I see my dad sometimes and I was missing my mom, she's going to Atlanta tomorrow, I'm going to Wisconsin on Friday and I thought it would be fun to have dinner. I had to head that way to get my eyebrows done anyway. Call to find out plan...yea, she's going to pick up my niece and we'll meet at the mall in Westland! What???!!!! I can't make it by then. How did we get to this plan???? Called her when I was done, met them (niece, brother and mom) at Olga's and had dinner. Craig and Breanna took off and my mom and I talked outside. She asked me if I was just "that mad" that she changed the plan or whatever. Well yea! I told her that I thought this was just us. That I had actually made an effort since I never see her anymore....she's leaving, I'm leaving, blah, blah, blah....She actually said Sorry! And, she had tears in her eyes. I think tonight, for the first time, she might actually see how much I miss having time with her and my dad, just US!!! Not the grandkids, not my brother, just US!!! So, there you have it. Circle the day. My mom apologized to me. And bigger yet, I think she may have heard me. Will things change? Probably not. Or maybe for awhile. But, I'll take the apology and I told her how much I appreciate it. I really do love my mom. She just irritates the poop out of me sometimes.
Tonights subject would be my family. Or specifically, my parents. Before I say anything, I must say that my family is almost perfect and I love them with all my heart. I do know that it's practically eutopia and when I get to venting to some of my friends, I do realize that it's ridiculous. But, it's my feelings and they are real. So, short story, since at the moment, I'm in a good mood and not currently raving at them....
Father's Day: Many plan changes, I made it to parents house at the time I was told only to have them all show up an hour and half later. With my the mother of my sister in law. She is not the easiest person to be around and she definitely puts a damper on things. Suffice to say, after 50 minutes of barely seeing my dad, I was on my way home. Prayed and prayed for God to take away the hurt and anger but I was fuming. Talked to mom later that night and after a very gut wrenching conversation, hung up the phone and BAWLED for 20 minutes. Have not cried that long in I can't remember how long. Ultimately it felt good but it sucked. Bottom line, I don't have kids, my brother does, my parents are FANTASTIC grandparents and I feel like I get shafted.
Tonight, I tried to make plans with my mom. I feel like I see my dad sometimes and I was missing my mom, she's going to Atlanta tomorrow, I'm going to Wisconsin on Friday and I thought it would be fun to have dinner. I had to head that way to get my eyebrows done anyway. Call to find out plan...yea, she's going to pick up my niece and we'll meet at the mall in Westland! What???!!!! I can't make it by then. How did we get to this plan???? Called her when I was done, met them (niece, brother and mom) at Olga's and had dinner. Craig and Breanna took off and my mom and I talked outside. She asked me if I was just "that mad" that she changed the plan or whatever. Well yea! I told her that I thought this was just us. That I had actually made an effort since I never see her anymore....she's leaving, I'm leaving, blah, blah, blah....She actually said Sorry! And, she had tears in her eyes. I think tonight, for the first time, she might actually see how much I miss having time with her and my dad, just US!!! Not the grandkids, not my brother, just US!!! So, there you have it. Circle the day. My mom apologized to me. And bigger yet, I think she may have heard me. Will things change? Probably not. Or maybe for awhile. But, I'll take the apology and I told her how much I appreciate it. I really do love my mom. She just irritates the poop out of me sometimes.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
God is good, all the time!
So, I am home from a weekend at Green Lake. I will never be able to put it into words because unless you've been there, you wouldn't understand.
The theme of the weekend was "As Is". God uses us as is. Love it. Our speaker was Peter Eide. If you don't know who he is, look him up. He's got a website and his music is phenominal. What a teacher and inspiration.
My goal was to "shut up and off" and listen. One of the songs we sang? "Be". As in, be still and know that I am God. Ok, ok, I get it. So, I did my best and I am quite proud of myself. God revealed himself to me in many, many ways this weekend and I am grateful for that.
One of the things we did was put our fears and hopes in our hands and lift them to God. Not easy for me. I say all the time that I know what my fears are but I realized that I really don't. Am I afraid of being alone for the rest of my life? YES! But, am I more ok with being single than I give myself credit for? I don't know. Am I afraid of losing weight for some reason? Probably, but why? I gave it all to God. Over and over and over and over....
God, I pray that you will continue to use me. I pray that I will remember that you delight in me and that I bring you joy and pleasure. Remind me to keep "pouring". And God, I really, really want to be married. I miss being kissed. I'd really love it if you could bring someone into my life soon. Thanks.
Green Lake had so many memories for me that I wasn't sure I'd ever stop crying or talking about all the things I remember. God has created the entire universe, I know. But, I think that Green Lake was probably one of his best works of art. It is holy ground. I am so grateful to my family to taking us there for 14 years and being able to chaperone youth trips twice. This weekend is now added to the millions of memories and I am sooooo grateful.
The theme of the weekend was "As Is". God uses us as is. Love it. Our speaker was Peter Eide. If you don't know who he is, look him up. He's got a website and his music is phenominal. What a teacher and inspiration.
My goal was to "shut up and off" and listen. One of the songs we sang? "Be". As in, be still and know that I am God. Ok, ok, I get it. So, I did my best and I am quite proud of myself. God revealed himself to me in many, many ways this weekend and I am grateful for that.
One of the things we did was put our fears and hopes in our hands and lift them to God. Not easy for me. I say all the time that I know what my fears are but I realized that I really don't. Am I afraid of being alone for the rest of my life? YES! But, am I more ok with being single than I give myself credit for? I don't know. Am I afraid of losing weight for some reason? Probably, but why? I gave it all to God. Over and over and over and over....
God, I pray that you will continue to use me. I pray that I will remember that you delight in me and that I bring you joy and pleasure. Remind me to keep "pouring". And God, I really, really want to be married. I miss being kissed. I'd really love it if you could bring someone into my life soon. Thanks.
Green Lake had so many memories for me that I wasn't sure I'd ever stop crying or talking about all the things I remember. God has created the entire universe, I know. But, I think that Green Lake was probably one of his best works of art. It is holy ground. I am so grateful to my family to taking us there for 14 years and being able to chaperone youth trips twice. This weekend is now added to the millions of memories and I am sooooo grateful.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Home sweet home....
So, I am home after an uneventful family vacation to Hilton Head Island. Who knew it could be uneventful??? Not me. Last time, I was driven crazy by my sister in law, who I love dearly but sometimes she gets to me in our differences. And, my mom was there this year. And, there were no big blow ups and only one venting call to my BFF, Dort. Wow, it's a miracle.
It was great fun but now I want to go back as soon as possible without kids. I love my brother's kids, they are probably some of the best behaved children you could ever meet. But, it's funny how when there are 8 people, 3 of which are kids, you as the single voice, don't always get your way. Hmmmm, shocker. But, I got to take them on a dolphin tour with my favorite company and it was great. Maybe I'll get my way if we go back in September for a girls trip.
Best news of all, I didn't gain any weight. Yippee!!! And, when we got home, I joined Weight Watchers online. I've been doing pretty well with the tracking and staying within my points. Hopefully, it will work. Probably would help if I hadn't avoided the gym tonight. But, I will go tomorrow and Thursday for sure.
It was great fun but now I want to go back as soon as possible without kids. I love my brother's kids, they are probably some of the best behaved children you could ever meet. But, it's funny how when there are 8 people, 3 of which are kids, you as the single voice, don't always get your way. Hmmmm, shocker. But, I got to take them on a dolphin tour with my favorite company and it was great. Maybe I'll get my way if we go back in September for a girls trip.
Best news of all, I didn't gain any weight. Yippee!!! And, when we got home, I joined Weight Watchers online. I've been doing pretty well with the tracking and staying within my points. Hopefully, it will work. Probably would help if I hadn't avoided the gym tonight. But, I will go tomorrow and Thursday for sure.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I did it
So, I made it to the gym yesterday. At about 2:00 I wasn't sure I was going to. Had a relatively big lunch with co-workers and my "naptime" hit. All I wanted to do was go home and take a nap. But, as Dorothy reminded me...if you go home and take a nap you will get fat! Yep, it's true. So, I made it to the gym. And, I did my 2 miles. AND, I actually ran for 4 minutes. It was one minute increments a couple of times throughout my time, but I did it. I've never been able to do that. Maybe I should clarify run. That would be a very slow jog. But, the heart rate was up and I was proud of myself when I finished. Hopefully while on vacation next week, I'll be motivated to walk on the beach. Great exercise!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Old friends
So, this weekend was a family filled weekend. My oldest niece got re-baptized. Praise God. She decided that when she made her first decision she was a child and wasn't sure what exactly it meant. After attending the youth event, Acquire the Fire, she asked Jesus into her heart. YAY!!!!! So, I spent a lot of quality time with the fam this weekend.
While at my folks house, I decided on a whim to look up an old co-worker's phone number. This dear friend lives about a mile from my parents. I never in a million years thought he'd be listed. He was one of those old timers at Maxey and I truly thought he'd have an unlisted phone number. Paranoia and all. To my surprise there was a number. I called it Sunday afternoon and left a message. Even more to my surprise....he called me back. We laughed and talked and reminisced about all the crazy things at Maxey. He was the resident practical joker. It was so good to have that personality back in my life. The bonus? He's doing my taxes. Yahoo. This dear man is about my mom's age and at one point, when I first met him, he was so mean he made me cry. Over time, and of course my winning personality, we became best buds. He was my go to guy at work. When I moved in with Jeff, our friendship took a turn. Not only did he not approve morally but he thought I was settling and Jeff was not good enough for me. Hindsight obviously proves him right. We were still friends but not nearly as close as we had been. Then he retired. I missed him terribly. We haven't talked in years. Now, it's all good.
On top of this re-connection, I had a mystery text this weekend. I thought my co-worker had changed her phone number so I stored it under her name. When I got to work on Monday and asked her about it, it wasn't her. I emailed the only other person I thought it could be (based on area code) and it wasn't him either. When I got out of work, I sent a text asking who it was. To make a long story, it was another friend who I hadn't talked to in about 5 or 6 months. I won't share all the gory details but we had a bit of a falling out. I hurt and upset him (which I didn't know until last night) and he had decided it was time to bury the hatchet and stop being upset. So, we talked for about 30 minutes last night. I cannot tell you how good it was to hear the voice of this man. He has had a huge influence in my life, probably not always good, and I have truly missed my friend. He said the same thing last night. So, maybe we can be friends again. I guess we'll see what the future holds. All I know is, I was really glad to have a chance to talk to him last night. The irony of all of this is that my co-worker had said maybe my mystery texter was someone I didn't know and this was all fate and I'd meet him and he'd be the one. I of course laughed out loud at this. But, when I found out who it really was, the irony of her comment was a little painful. See, I have always loved this man despite the fact that there are many, many things I could never tolerate in a relationship. I have always wanted him to "see me" and realize what we have in this friendship and that it could be more. Now, I know that's not God's plan but I truly love this guy. For now, I'm glad he's back and we can have our long conversations about life and figuring out who we are.
Thank you, God, for bringing some sunshine into my life through my dear friends who I have lost touch with. I know that You know how much they mean to me.
While at my folks house, I decided on a whim to look up an old co-worker's phone number. This dear friend lives about a mile from my parents. I never in a million years thought he'd be listed. He was one of those old timers at Maxey and I truly thought he'd have an unlisted phone number. Paranoia and all. To my surprise there was a number. I called it Sunday afternoon and left a message. Even more to my surprise....he called me back. We laughed and talked and reminisced about all the crazy things at Maxey. He was the resident practical joker. It was so good to have that personality back in my life. The bonus? He's doing my taxes. Yahoo. This dear man is about my mom's age and at one point, when I first met him, he was so mean he made me cry. Over time, and of course my winning personality, we became best buds. He was my go to guy at work. When I moved in with Jeff, our friendship took a turn. Not only did he not approve morally but he thought I was settling and Jeff was not good enough for me. Hindsight obviously proves him right. We were still friends but not nearly as close as we had been. Then he retired. I missed him terribly. We haven't talked in years. Now, it's all good.
On top of this re-connection, I had a mystery text this weekend. I thought my co-worker had changed her phone number so I stored it under her name. When I got to work on Monday and asked her about it, it wasn't her. I emailed the only other person I thought it could be (based on area code) and it wasn't him either. When I got out of work, I sent a text asking who it was. To make a long story, it was another friend who I hadn't talked to in about 5 or 6 months. I won't share all the gory details but we had a bit of a falling out. I hurt and upset him (which I didn't know until last night) and he had decided it was time to bury the hatchet and stop being upset. So, we talked for about 30 minutes last night. I cannot tell you how good it was to hear the voice of this man. He has had a huge influence in my life, probably not always good, and I have truly missed my friend. He said the same thing last night. So, maybe we can be friends again. I guess we'll see what the future holds. All I know is, I was really glad to have a chance to talk to him last night. The irony of all of this is that my co-worker had said maybe my mystery texter was someone I didn't know and this was all fate and I'd meet him and he'd be the one. I of course laughed out loud at this. But, when I found out who it really was, the irony of her comment was a little painful. See, I have always loved this man despite the fact that there are many, many things I could never tolerate in a relationship. I have always wanted him to "see me" and realize what we have in this friendship and that it could be more. Now, I know that's not God's plan but I truly love this guy. For now, I'm glad he's back and we can have our long conversations about life and figuring out who we are.
Thank you, God, for bringing some sunshine into my life through my dear friends who I have lost touch with. I know that You know how much they mean to me.
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